Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Evelina Giobbe's avatar

I’ve never felt the sting of childlessness or being single most of my life. Oh I’ve had partners and even a few husbands along the way but my best years, especially the last twenty-five, have been unencumbered by the responsibilities imbedded in intimate relationships and the raising offspring. Looking back I know I would have never had the interesting life I’ve lived had I taken a more traditional path. I too have a sister with a husband and children and grandchildren who’s “in charge” of family holidays and traditions but she is also the sister who took responsibility for our mother despite having a demanding career and raising a family while I galavanted around the country. I don’t resent her. I admire her. I love her. And I’m grateful that she’s “in charge” keeping our family traditions alive and bringing us together. I think if we are comfortable in our skin, live the life we’ve chosen and accept that there are trade offs for our independence, the voices of the critics become dimmer and our own stronger. You are correct, the middle years are the most challenging, but at 75 I can attest that remaining true to oneself leads to a greater sense of peace and satisfaction. Play the long game.

Expand full comment
Sarah Coomber's avatar

So much to process in this post -- thank you, Jody, for sparking thoughts that I'll be mulling for a while.

Yes to the idea of having and modeling courageous conversations! Why are we here if we're just going to acquiesce or stay silent?

As I age, I find I focus less on biting my tongue and more on sharing my perspective in ways that preserve my relationships.

A month ago, I visited my local post office for the third or fourth time about the same delivery issue (argh). As I stood in line, the guy behind the counter recognized me, and I could read the "uh-oh" in his eyes.

At the end of our conversation, he said something that I took as a sign of success: "You are our nicest complainer."

And it does seem that the issue has been resolved (knock on wood!).

Expand full comment
116 more comments...

No posts