Oh my gosh, Big Sis Jody! You had me at 'A TRUTH of Crones,' I wanted to check that I'm subscribed to Everyone....and then I scrolled down and saw Carer Mentor! OMG THIS is the leaderboard I'm so proud and honoured to be part of THANK YOU!
Now, you've inspired me to create a collective noun and leaderboard for Publications of Caregivers and those receiving care.
Right - back to double-checking I'm subscribed to everyone in the 'Truth of Crones'. Could we have a regular Discussion Thread for Q&A or something where the Truths can be shared? I've quite a few Qs I'd love to ask!
Oh gosh, Jody! Thank you! I'm so honored and humbled to be mentioned in this post along with all of these incredibly inspiring and talented women. I subscribe to a few of these Substacks listed here, but several are new to me and I'm excited to add more cool crones to my feed. 😀 This is such a lovely way to celebrate older women. You're a beautiful writer and a kind soul.
I am ABSOLUTELY honored and blown away to be included on this UNBELIEVABLE LIST and at your words too. I needed them today, Jody. Like I really, really did. Thank you. And right.back.at.you. I wish I knew you in my 30s! But in recent years you have offered me so much solace with your work. I hope you know that.
Thank you so much for this list. As a 45 year old, just starting to marinate, I appreciate so much the wisdom of women who have already made the crossing. Thank you for being here and writing of your experiences.
Jody--I love this post--and a 'truth of crones' brought a smile of recognition to my lips. Thank you for all you write here, and for sharing with us other elder women who inspire you. I look forward to taking in more of these wise voices. Also for modeling something important--lifting up our sisters. This is one important gift we women have to counteract the clamor of competition, me-me-me in our culture.
My motto has always been 'we rise together' and I love supporting other women. I'm rubbish at competition, which hasn't always served me well under capitalism, but I do think it speaks to much older human instincts... x
What a great list! I already subscribe to some but will be checking the others out ASAP. I will toot my own tiny midlife horn with my letter, The Long Middle. I've been writing about midlife for so long now that maybe it's not even the middle anymore? It's very long, indeed.
Hi Lisa, I loved your piece 'Now We Are Sixty' and thank you for the gift-links to the Anne Lamott articles too. Both my mother and my mother in law died in the last 9 months, so our eldercare days are over... and now it's our own aging bodies to manage... which as your article sets out, can be quite a lot. I am planning a long overseas trip next Spring, and the amount of pills and potions I might have to pack is giving me pause!
Yes it's quite a lot, isn't it?! I'm fantasizing about long trips, but elder care is keeping me mostly grounded for the moment. And when it happens, I fear I'll need to add panic meds for travel to my growing list of helpers. Wishing you a fabulous and transformative (in the best way) trip!
The trip is only possible as my mother in law (who lived with us) died at 93 earlier this year... it had got to the point when even a night away had become a big challenge, so I do know how it can be xxx
I think the childless/childfree binary can be a false one sometimes… identity is fluid and we may identify as either at different points of our journey… or not! I also use ‘non-parent’, ‘non-mother’ or ‘nomo’ (I word I coined in 2012).
I identify as ‘childless’ but in many ways having fully integrated the loss of motherhood, internally I feel quite ‘childfree’. There’s also a big part of me that is a mother, even though I did not get to be one. So, clear as mud as we say in England!
Jody, I really appreciate that you write about this as part of your identity; it makes me think more about what motherhood means (or doesn't) when children are middle-aged. Like you, I say it is about as clear as mud... xx
However, the logistical challenges of aging without children (however we got there, including bereavement, estrangement, adult-care needs, incarceration...) are very chewy indeed... and are scarily clear to those of us who've had some experience around our own aging parents...
Exactly. Also, I've connected with several carers (anonymously) - who sleepwalk into being a caregiver as the child/sibling/'obvious one', overlayed with cultural expectations that they may or may not relate to.
A 'choice' is a Right that needs to be upheld, not an assumption...but there are LOTS of chewy noodles, and a LOT of awareness and gentle probing needed to support those rights that were 'conditioned'/programmed...(oops soapboxing!) I'm privileged that I could make a head-heart-gut decision based on LOVE.
Jody, I am touched and honored to be included in your list. And also amazed at how well you describe me and my work on Substack, better than I could do it myself! Now off to read the other women you mention, many of whom I'm not familiar with. Thank you!
Ha! It's always interesting to see ourselves through the eyes of others, isn't it. I've noticed your inner critic giving you some serious workouts... as someone who has done a lot of work around befriending my own (internalised from a hyper-critical narcissistic mother) I know the territory well. What worked for me was developing self-compassion, thanks to the work of Kristin Neff. Sending hugs x
Thank you Jody for your kind words and for sharing my words. What great company I am in. And thanks for pointing people to my podcast What Could Possibly Go Right on Resilience.Org.
Vicki - it's an honour to mention you - your work has been so important to me, and I love how in your old age you are continuing to model how we can continue to help the healing of our hearts and communities. I live in a very small rural Irish community and next year plan to start a mutual-aid group for those of us without children... which isn't going to be easy... but going against the grain of our hyper-individualistic times never is!
Oh my gosh, Big Sis Jody! You had me at 'A TRUTH of Crones,' I wanted to check that I'm subscribed to Everyone....and then I scrolled down and saw Carer Mentor! OMG THIS is the leaderboard I'm so proud and honoured to be part of THANK YOU!
Now, you've inspired me to create a collective noun and leaderboard for Publications of Caregivers and those receiving care.
Right - back to double-checking I'm subscribed to everyone in the 'Truth of Crones'. Could we have a regular Discussion Thread for Q&A or something where the Truths can be shared? I've quite a few Qs I'd love to ask!
I love the idea of a Discussion Thread for 'A Truth of Crones' - will sort that out :) x
Truth be told! The truth will out! ;-) A Truth of Crones! So Cool Jody! BRAVO
What a great idea, Victoria!
Oh gosh, Jody! Thank you! I'm so honored and humbled to be mentioned in this post along with all of these incredibly inspiring and talented women. I subscribe to a few of these Substacks listed here, but several are new to me and I'm excited to add more cool crones to my feed. 😀 This is such a lovely way to celebrate older women. You're a beautiful writer and a kind soul.
Cool crones are where it's at, and that's you to a tee :)
And for being 'a beautiful writer and a kind soul' that's the nicest thing that's been said to me since teatime xxx
I am ABSOLUTELY honored and blown away to be included on this UNBELIEVABLE LIST and at your words too. I needed them today, Jody. Like I really, really did. Thank you. And right.back.at.you. I wish I knew you in my 30s! But in recent years you have offered me so much solace with your work. I hope you know that.
Sending you hugs along with the solace my lovely xxx
Jody, what an amazing list! Thank you for including me. I look forward to reading these wonderful Substacks.
It feels like a real later-life blossoming for women writers here... and so good to have so many non-parent voices in the mix (for a change!) x
Thank you so much for this list. As a 45 year old, just starting to marinate, I appreciate so much the wisdom of women who have already made the crossing. Thank you for being here and writing of your experiences.
Thank you Jayne. There's a bounteous number of amazing older women role models here to season your marinade :)
Older women are my favourite demographic. Can’t wait to one day become one.
You are going to love each decade more than the last, @Jayne Manfredi ❤️
I truly hope so! This is the kind of midlife positivity I need in my life. Thank you ❤️
Jody--I love this post--and a 'truth of crones' brought a smile of recognition to my lips. Thank you for all you write here, and for sharing with us other elder women who inspire you. I look forward to taking in more of these wise voices. Also for modeling something important--lifting up our sisters. This is one important gift we women have to counteract the clamor of competition, me-me-me in our culture.
My motto has always been 'we rise together' and I love supporting other women. I'm rubbish at competition, which hasn't always served me well under capitalism, but I do think it speaks to much older human instincts... x
Beautiful! And it's how we are going to get through these times and evolve.
Right on, Ellen. I too love the action of "lifting up our sisters." Big hugs.
Thank you for sharing these wise, soulful voices, Jody- truth tellers lighting the path, helping others feel seen- what a gift!
Thank you dear Dina - putting this list together made me feel incredibly grateful to have these voices around us. So very, very needed...
What a great list! I already subscribe to some but will be checking the others out ASAP. I will toot my own tiny midlife horn with my letter, The Long Middle. I've been writing about midlife for so long now that maybe it's not even the middle anymore? It's very long, indeed.
Hi Lisa, I loved your piece 'Now We Are Sixty' and thank you for the gift-links to the Anne Lamott articles too. Both my mother and my mother in law died in the last 9 months, so our eldercare days are over... and now it's our own aging bodies to manage... which as your article sets out, can be quite a lot. I am planning a long overseas trip next Spring, and the amount of pills and potions I might have to pack is giving me pause!
Yes it's quite a lot, isn't it?! I'm fantasizing about long trips, but elder care is keeping me mostly grounded for the moment. And when it happens, I fear I'll need to add panic meds for travel to my growing list of helpers. Wishing you a fabulous and transformative (in the best way) trip!
The trip is only possible as my mother in law (who lived with us) died at 93 earlier this year... it had got to the point when even a night away had become a big challenge, so I do know how it can be xxx
Jody, a few more older women writers I follow: Ramona Grigg https://substack.com/@ramonagrigg Kate Hill (writing from France) https://katehillfrance.substack.com/ and Abigail Thomas https://abigailthomas.substack.com/ I honestly don't make a distinction between childless / childfree or not. Sometimes I don't know!
I think the childless/childfree binary can be a false one sometimes… identity is fluid and we may identify as either at different points of our journey… or not! I also use ‘non-parent’, ‘non-mother’ or ‘nomo’ (I word I coined in 2012).
I identify as ‘childless’ but in many ways having fully integrated the loss of motherhood, internally I feel quite ‘childfree’. There’s also a big part of me that is a mother, even though I did not get to be one. So, clear as mud as we say in England!
Jody, I really appreciate that you write about this as part of your identity; it makes me think more about what motherhood means (or doesn't) when children are middle-aged. Like you, I say it is about as clear as mud... xx
However, the logistical challenges of aging without children (however we got there, including bereavement, estrangement, adult-care needs, incarceration...) are very chewy indeed... and are scarily clear to those of us who've had some experience around our own aging parents...
Exactly. Also, I've connected with several carers (anonymously) - who sleepwalk into being a caregiver as the child/sibling/'obvious one', overlayed with cultural expectations that they may or may not relate to.
A 'choice' is a Right that needs to be upheld, not an assumption...but there are LOTS of chewy noodles, and a LOT of awareness and gentle probing needed to support those rights that were 'conditioned'/programmed...(oops soapboxing!) I'm privileged that I could make a head-heart-gut decision based on LOVE.
Debbie, I just discovered Abigail Thomas' Substack, and I love reading her. Thanks for the other suggestions too.
Thanks for those recommendations, I look forward to exploring them x
Crones are medicine woman
They can be indeed... x
Thank you so much for this round up. There are some new-to-me authors that I can't wait to read more about.
It's a banquet, isn't it! So happy to share it x
Jody, I am touched and honored to be included in your list. And also amazed at how well you describe me and my work on Substack, better than I could do it myself! Now off to read the other women you mention, many of whom I'm not familiar with. Thank you!
Ha! It's always interesting to see ourselves through the eyes of others, isn't it. I've noticed your inner critic giving you some serious workouts... as someone who has done a lot of work around befriending my own (internalised from a hyper-critical narcissistic mother) I know the territory well. What worked for me was developing self-compassion, thanks to the work of Kristin Neff. Sending hugs x
Thank you Jody for your kind words and for sharing my words. What great company I am in. And thanks for pointing people to my podcast What Could Possibly Go Right on Resilience.Org.
Vicki - it's an honour to mention you - your work has been so important to me, and I love how in your old age you are continuing to model how we can continue to help the healing of our hearts and communities. I live in a very small rural Irish community and next year plan to start a mutual-aid group for those of us without children... which isn't going to be easy... but going against the grain of our hyper-individualistic times never is!
Vicki Robin! glad to find you again, your writing about money inspired me many years ago and has been an important influence.
Great list! Thanks Jody!
And Ashton Applewhite has joined. She hasn't posted yet but when she does, watch out!
Oooh - that will be good! Thanks for the heads up! x
What an amazing resource Jody. Thank you!
You are so welcome - happy reading :)
Thank you for this list. So much to read!
I know, isn't that wonderful! :)