A truth of crones

Meet the older women writers on Substack that inspire me.

Photo of an unknown woman by Fleur @flossyboots88 on Threads

What might a collective noun be for ‘Crones’? I’ve run through quite a few: cauldron, stir? (too kitschy); muse, song? (too soppy); bone, grave? (too morbid).

And then I found one that sang to me: truth — a truth of crones.

The truth about ageing is not straightforward because we’re each having a unique experience of it. However, the toxic stew of ageism, sexism, pronatalism and all the other -isms that we’re marinating in - that’s something we do share.

And by sharing it here on Substack we can empower, amuse, and support each other as together, we age out loud.

Since I started writing this newsletter a few years ago, and even more so in the wake of both my mother and my mother-in-law’s deaths, I have found here on Substack the elder mentors I’ve always longed for. And as each of these wonderful writers is enriching my inner world, I wanted to share some of them with you.

Also, one of the things that makes this list very special to me is that most of them are navigating old age without the unconscious safety net (however tenuous or unwise) of adult children.

Do let me know in the comments which older women writers on Substack inspire you.

Here is an incomplete list of NomoCrones (nomo = not-mother + crone is not an insult) that inspire me.

The Art of Enchantment with Dr. Sharon Blackie was one of the first newsletters I took out a paid subscription to (but don’t worry, she’s very generous with her free content too!) Sharon writes of ageing as a woman through a mythic and place-based psychological lens, and her work consistently inspires me. I had the privilege of being interviewed by Sharon for her book Hagitude: Reimagining the Second Half of Life and was interviewed by her for her podcast, ‘The Hagitude Sessions’.

The Hagitude Sessions 5

Oldster Magazine, as its editor Sari Botton writes, is about ‘what it means to travel through time in a human body—at every phase of life.’ Each week she publishes the ‘Oldster Questionnaire’ in which an incredible variety of people (of all ages) answer the same fascinating set of questions. (I love Elizabeth Gilbert’s responses, linked below.) And for those of us who consider ourselves GenXers, do check out her brilliant memoir, And You May Find Yourself… Confessions of a Late-Blooming GenX Weirdo.

This is 54: Author Elizabeth Gilbert Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

Carer Mentor by Victoria shares her experience as a carer for her mother, having given up her corporate career to do so. She is passionate about mentoring, advocating, educating and supporting other caregivers too and, being a non-mother herself, appreciates the unique anxiety of caring for our parents when this will never be a possibility for us.

'Who started Carer Mentor, and Why?'

HotFlash Inc by Ann-Marie McQueen is the home for her total truth-telling journalism about the peri/menopause transition. A health reporter by trade, she reports, fact-checks, interviews and writes about menopause in a way that consistently hits way above the mark than your average menopause writer. She also keeps it real as a single and childless not by choice woman dealing with it all alone. As someone who is ten years post-menopausal, I continue to learn from Ann-Marie’s work and fuck, I wish she’d been around when the shit hit my own hormonal fan in my late thirties.

What it's called when it hurts all over

The Shift With Sam Baker is the refreshing and candid Substack by ‘recovering women’s magazine editor’ Sam Baker. Each week she writes a free newsletter about life after ‘the shift’ of menopause and, maybe it’s because we’re both English, working-class, hard-grafting GenXers (she’s in her late fifties, me just turned sixty) who used to work in the London fashion/magazine industry (me only for my twenties, Sam didn’t get out till her mid-forties) I feel a strong affinity to her work. Sam’s podcast, also called The Shift interviews amazing women 40+ and, like me, she has a particular love for the ‘old birds’ (English slang for old woman) - those are always my favourite episodes! For paying subscribers, there’s a weekly newsletter from Sam, a brilliant book club and other goodies.

The picture that prompted a life change

Can I Do It Alone? is the home of Sue Fagalde Lick’s no-holds-barred essays about the delights and challenges of living alone in her rural Oregon home as a childless widow in her seventies. Those familiar with my free, quarterly Fireside Wisdom with Childless Elderwomen webinars may recognize her as one of my regular panellists. She’s the author of many books including her powerful and tender memoir No Way Out of This: Loving a Partner with Alzheimer’s (June 2024) which I interviewed her about here.

How Did We End Up All Alone?

In With the Old is written by Hilary Hattenbach, an LA-based former movie marketing executive, one-time cookbook author and contributing writer for Los Angeles Magazine, Closer Weekly, and Emmy Magazine. She writes that she ‘used to feel like an ancient person trapped in a young person’s body, but now that I’m AARP-eligible, my internal age is finally catching up with my external age.’ I know what she means as I’ve often felt like an old person in training, hence my Instagram handle being @ApprenticeCrone

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE LONGER

Coming of Aging is the Substack of the veteran truth-teller, change-maker and cultural visionary, Vicki Robbin. Now almost eighty, she writes about both her lived experience of aging as an unpartnered, non-mother, as well as her lifelong interest in the cultural malaise of modern capitalism and how we might live best in the ruins, and take care of each other as we do. Her podcast What if Everything Goes Right (for Resilence.org) has been crucial listening for me for some time, and her books around money consciousness, and local eating were both way ahead of the curve. Vicki is an important elder role model for me.

What's a Childless Cat Lady to do?

You’re Right, I Do Look Tired is the deadpan, comitragic Substack of the smart-arsed punk writer Eileen Dougharty. Living, working (as a flight attendant) and writing about her life before and with Parkinson’s, she has a wicked way with words. She didn’t expect to be a single, aging, non-mother living with a ‘brain-melting’ neurodegenerative disease, but then, perhaps ‘Hunter S. Thompson [wasn’t] the healthiest role model.’ Read, laugh, weep and learn.

A Flygirl Looks At 58

Too Old For This Sh*t is the inspiring and motivational Substack from the prize-winning writer and journalist Julia Hubbel, a seventy-something adventure traveler and athlete. She writes wryly and candidly about her passion for fitness and adventure, and the benefits of pushing yourself to do stuff you might feel you’re too old for. Her honest vulnerability about the challenges of her life (and health/fitness) balances her playful enthusiasm to make this a realistically inspirational read. She’s also a reader and admirer of my own Substack, which is a great compliment.

Which Old Woman Do We Want To Be? We're Too Old to Still Wish We Were Young

Creative Eldering is the Substack of the seventy-something author Stephanie Raffelock, where she explores ‘attitudes and reinventions with regard to aging'. Her belief in ‘every individual’s right to be a free and sovereign soul at every age’ touches me deeply. Contemplative, nature-loving and poetic, Stephanie’s work inspires me to pay more attention both to what lives within me, and to the natural world around me.

Medieval Feminists and Kamala

Special mentions for non-parent inclusive Substacks authored by parents

Advantages of Age founders Suzanne Noble and Rose Rouse are both mothers, but it’s not a fact they lead with and rarely mention, which I find a real breath of fresh air. Advantages of Age (which has been going for a while in London, UK) have been called ‘the punks of ageing’ and I was honoured to be invited to write a guest post for them called ‘The Joys of Opiniated Older Women.’

The Joys of Opinionated Older Women

The Queenager by Eleanor Mills is the Substack from the British founder of ‘Noon’. It’s got more of a high-energy British ABC1 ‘midlife’ vibe to it, rather than the been-around-the-block ‘crone’ energy that I relate to best (and her partner and kids do get quite a few mentions!) However, her ambition and impact are deeply impressive, and much needed.

Eleanor's Letter: What is a Queenager?

[B]old Age with Debbie Weil is in her early seventies and writes honestly about her own struggles with the ageing process and her battles with her inner critic about her work and writing, despite being a seasoned podcast presenter (120 interviews!) best-selling non-fiction author and a veteran blogger (before most people knew what that was) and book editor. A wife and mother (her family are often mentioned), she’s been really supportive of my work here on Substack, and of other older women writers here too. I’ve linked below to a piece on ‘summer depression’ which, as someone who lives in Ireland, is not something I get to experience, as we don’t really get a summer, but the deeper theme of the piece, about her writing not being taken as ‘seriously’ as her husband’s, and of little interest to those who know her, is something I think many of might relate to.

Behind the scenes of a summer of writing

---

Thank you for being one of my readers, I appreciate you very much! If you’d like to support my work you can do so by:

• ‘Hearting’ this post, so that others are encouraged to read it;

• Leaving a comment (I do my best to respond to each of them);

• Sharing this post by email or on social media;

• Taking out a paid subscription to this Substack';

• Leaving me a tip by buying me a coffee.