This speaks so directly to where i am at this moment. i am 52, just had a hip replacement, and lost my mother to ovarian cancer. I have no children--a choice I made in my 20s. I've been a college professor/teacher for 30 years, and i have just put in a request for a leave of absence, so that I might create some space for my transformation--full of old longings that I set aside for years in the spirit of ambition, and not trusting my inner self. Now, my body and spirit are leaving me no choice but to go down and deep into my soul. Thank you so much for this place and this writing.
Ruby - thank you so much for your comment and feel a real undertow of longing coming through in what you have written. Thirty years is a long time of GIVING, an awful lot of 'generative' years and I can imagine that as you are literally stopped in your tracks by your hip-replacement, perhaps it is making space for grief and longing, so often intertwined in my experience, to arise from the depths and ask to be given to also...
A book which I read recently and which I found tremendously supportive for those of us inclined to swim in deep waters is 'Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole" by Susan Cain. I read a few weeks ago whilst I was ill in bed and I have a strong sense that I want to go back and read it all over again! Sending love for the in-between places in you, in me, in all of us. And to your mother too, across time. Hugs, Jody x
Wow! I am still in the hopeful-for-child phase at 41, and the idea of never being ok with not having children has just been transformed into a small glimmer of hope that there is something equally fulfilling awaiting me if I don't. Deep thanks for opening my mind to another perspective x
Dear Sheena, sorry for only just finding your comment now! I do hope that a couple of years on, you are finding your way through the difficult liminal years between 'still hopeful' and either motherhood or childlessness. It can be tough. Not knowing which will eventually be your path can be excruciating. Hugs xxx
Beautiful, stunning and so much to savor here Dear Jody! "And just because my loss has carved a groove that welcomes something deeper a little sooner, does that have to make it wrong?" I'm approaching a different milestone/rite of passage (gladly turning 50 in February), but yet I get this. Thank you XO.
This speaks so directly to where i am at this moment. i am 52, just had a hip replacement, and lost my mother to ovarian cancer. I have no children--a choice I made in my 20s. I've been a college professor/teacher for 30 years, and i have just put in a request for a leave of absence, so that I might create some space for my transformation--full of old longings that I set aside for years in the spirit of ambition, and not trusting my inner self. Now, my body and spirit are leaving me no choice but to go down and deep into my soul. Thank you so much for this place and this writing.
Ruby - thank you so much for your comment and feel a real undertow of longing coming through in what you have written. Thirty years is a long time of GIVING, an awful lot of 'generative' years and I can imagine that as you are literally stopped in your tracks by your hip-replacement, perhaps it is making space for grief and longing, so often intertwined in my experience, to arise from the depths and ask to be given to also...
A book which I read recently and which I found tremendously supportive for those of us inclined to swim in deep waters is 'Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole" by Susan Cain. I read a few weeks ago whilst I was ill in bed and I have a strong sense that I want to go back and read it all over again! Sending love for the in-between places in you, in me, in all of us. And to your mother too, across time. Hugs, Jody x
https://susancain.net/book/bittersweet/
Thank you so much for your kind words and wonderful recommendation. I loved "Quiet":)
Wow! I am still in the hopeful-for-child phase at 41, and the idea of never being ok with not having children has just been transformed into a small glimmer of hope that there is something equally fulfilling awaiting me if I don't. Deep thanks for opening my mind to another perspective x
Dear Sheena, sorry for only just finding your comment now! I do hope that a couple of years on, you are finding your way through the difficult liminal years between 'still hopeful' and either motherhood or childlessness. It can be tough. Not knowing which will eventually be your path can be excruciating. Hugs xxx
Beautiful, stunning and so much to savor here Dear Jody! "And just because my loss has carved a groove that welcomes something deeper a little sooner, does that have to make it wrong?" I'm approaching a different milestone/rite of passage (gladly turning 50 in February), but yet I get this. Thank you XO.