I am very sorry to hear about your health struggles. Due to my own autoimmune disease, I avoided the Covid shots, which have indeed caused autoimmune issues in some people. If you suspect that could be the cause, there are ways to detox. In any case, autoimmune disease are quite common these days, unfortunately. Toning up the vagus nerve can also help.
Learning to listen to my body, to trust my body has been a long process for me. It’s now so wonderful to be able to do that! This ability is only really coming into maturity in my mid-70s. It’s a skill that was not taught in my military family and American society/culture when I was growing up in the 1950s and ‘60s. I doubt if it yet is broadly taught in the US.
Jody, you have reminded me of my own languishing book—a memoir of my cross-global marriage and experience of infertility and recovery of self. How old do I have to become before this project rises to the top of my projects list? As a highly creative person, I constantly get distracted by new projects. Well, maybe my body is telling me that, at least for the time being, the 10 years of writing I did in my 40s did its job of helping me process my grief over infertility, divorce and loss of adopted country and culture.
I’m back in country for a 6 week visit, first since the start of the pandemic, with my ex in-laws and old friends, eating Indian cuisine, and speaking Hindi 24/7. It’s a joyous, but also in some ways difficult, time. To be barren is a huge way to experience social isolation, but so, too, is marrying to the other side of the globe.
Oh Jody, I am so very sorry for your prolonged illness.
Many years ago, I was ill for months and months. I couldn’t function. I was depleted, depressed and thought I might die.
As time went on, (and it took a long time, over a year), my body & soul did finally heal.
To this day, I do not know really what was wrong, but it did change me and made me much more aware of what was important in my life. It was truly a metamorphosis.
I hope that you are able to feel well again very soon. Sending positive energy and healing your way dear Jody.
You are touching the ancient. The clarity, the ache, the knowing. There’s a kind of soul-weather you describe here—bone-soaked and unrelenting—and I recognize it. The cannibalistic culture that eats itself. Mic drop.
Perhaps it’s the Irish in us that knows: some deaths don’t happen in the ground. They happen in the ego, in the expectations, in the slow undoing.
“Preparing to be forgotten”—that phrase is piercing. I feel it as a mother whose identity has been so tied to tending, witnessing, holding. And I feel an ongoing dying.
Our stories continue...
It’s no small thing, what you’re doing. This shedding of “Red Jacket Jody.” This stepping away from the role that once gave shape, even comfort. As you know, my path has been shaped by care work too—mothering daughters, one with profound needs—and also writing, healing, and resisting. The hunger to be seen and the grace of going unseen are always dancing. The mothering that continues until it doesn't.
Your words remind me that relevance isn’t always noise. It's the quiet walk by the sea, the fierce choosing of doing less, speaking softer, answering only to what calls from the soul.
May your rest be a revolt.
May your forgetting be a form of remembering.
And may your ancestors sit close—because I know they are.
Dearest Jody, you are a beacon to me and so many women - all these wonderful comments that have come before mine show that in abundance. I have always been in awe of your commitment and compassion to our community and in a hundred years when they write the names of childless women who changed the world for childless women your name will be at the top. Surrender to the knowing - and follow your creative heart. The world needs your novel and you (and I) need your health. Adore you xxx
Dear Jody, evocative writing, as always. I'm sorry for the many personal losses you've experienced these recent years and for the health issues and worries. I hope answers come soon for healing. You give so much of yourself..do retreat/restore however you need now, protect your health and precious time. Sending much love, Susan xx
Thank so much Susan - it was so lovely to spend some time (in zoomland!) with you recently. I was touched then and now by your support and understanding. Hugs, Jody x
I see you, Jody. I’ve been very limited in what I can do for the past 15 months due to Long Covid. These fatigue based conditions aren’t easy. Gravitate to your joy and rest as much as possible, things will improve. Sending lots of healing vibes ❤️
'Gravitate to your joy and rest as much as possible'... I think I may have to have that tatooed on my hand to remind me, it's such good advice! Thank you x
Thank you so much for this Jody. I resonate on so many levels with your story. Periods of illness for me, whether appearing to be body or mind (or both!), that have forced a full stop, have revealed truths to me that either I couldn’t hear or didn’t want to listen to. Just when I feel I have learned it all, another lesson comes along! Bit tiring tbh but I often wonder what the next revelation will be! Take care xxx
I think the linear, masculine, left-brain, modernised part of my psyche still expects things to go in a straight line, no matter how many times I travel around the spiral of transformations through illness, grief and endings! I tend to think, 'Oh, that's over, I've integrated that lesson, now I can move forward (and upwards) again.' And yet, there's ALWAYS more! More decent, more integration, more humility, more honesty, more openings, more letting go... The story of our culture is always upward, towards growth, and with a clear start, middle, and end. My body knows that this is only part of the story... and keeps reminding me!
I had to read this twice - it felt so close to what I've been thinking about and going through. I'm so sorry about the health issues. I'm struggling with something, too, and been asking for a message - what does it mean? I have some inklings at this point, but your piece very much feels like a message to me from the universe. I have to let something die. And I think I know what. Thank you for sharing this. Sending you healing energy. xoxo
I'm so glad the universe used my words to help speak to something in you too. I think I knew/know what has to die, but my ego didn't want to know it... Sending you what you need to tease out your own truth and then, to act on it. Not easy, at all. I'm going to be wrestling with this angel for a while in my own life, I suspect... the ego puts up a heck of a fight!
Well i feel you could bring some ans take some with the group and benefit from the elders within the group, and hell the youngers too! you may want to at least check it out.And I believe CC will still offer a free month to try it.
Yes, in ways you don't exactly fit the profile; however in ways you do. my opinion anyways. cheers
Tai Chi practice has been shown to reduce inflammatory biomarkers, such as C-reactive protein (CRP), and influence the production of pro-inflammatory cytokines like IL-6 and TNF-α.
By lowering these markers, Tai Chi can help manage inflammation, a key symptom of many autoimmune conditions.
Tai Chi may also promote the release of anti-inflammatory cytokines, like IL-10 and TGF-β, contributing to immune homeostasis.
I can't help but encourage all of us aging to these particular tai chi movements designed by a Dr. in Australia under Tai Chi for Arthritis and Fall Prevention, there's even a Tai Chi movement to help guard against diabetes. Helps my thinking I have noticed..."some". Some is good enough these days, darn it.
Her warm up can't be beat many of us feel. My pain Dr. said "you mean that old lady with a gray hair!" On my next visit he apologized, how his words haunted him later, and now keeps saying he's going to do. I reminded him that her advanced work is like something out of a Quentin Tarantino movie!
Here's my own instructor and remember slowing down to learn the movements and slow, no very slow and controlled is what helps our muscles: plus, I kid him carefully that I do tai chi w him at home and when I'm blue, I absolutely love that he goofs and laughs! It makes me smile every time!
I can relate to your concerns regarding mobility. After all, movement is such a crucial part of being human. I've struggled with joint issues, and as I approach my mid-fifties, I am currently plagued by pain and especially more so when I try to sleep. They say that our health is dictated by our legs, well, not to coin a pun, but I won't have far to go if that's the case.
Both my mother and my mother-in-law had mobility issues, and having struggled with ankle/foot pain myself these last 6 months (on top of back pain for many years), I've had to cut down my walking and exercise due to pain. However, now I've shifted to strapping everything up and do what I can to keep walking and moving when my energy levels allow it. I too had really deep pain in my hip whilst (not) sleeping, which finally shifted when I added testosterone to my hormone supplements... You might want to take a look at the work of Ann Marie McQueen @hotflashinc - she is a science and health reporter who focuses on menopause, based out of UAE. She'll also be guesting on this Saturday's Fireside Wisdom session https://jodyday.substack.com/p/life-after-menopause Hugs, Jody x
We keep going my "kiddo woman!" I love that. My vibes say you pushed you body too hard emotionally and with the demands of everything together in the last year especially.
🙏 my vibes are correct, bit by bit each day, you'll feel little better though some days worse. Reality knocks at our doors, yeah?
That said, we rest a whole lot more and "forgive yourself, forgive yourself and then forgive yourself again," when you must do less. Oh how I hate it. Not in the type A's dna!
Fighting my diverticulitis flare up, though that said, I keep going. Water exercise and tai chi help. Whatever does each of us, we must do, ha ha ha, but in check. Damn it. "We must do, not overdo!" Says the number one rule breaker to that.
Thank you dear Joanne. Keeping going is my default behaviour, but my body says, not any more! Sorry to hear that you are dealing with a diverticulitis flare up - very debilitating. I guess learning to listen to our bodies (finally!) is one of the big lessons of elderhood. Hugs, Jody x
I am very sorry to hear about your health struggles. Due to my own autoimmune disease, I avoided the Covid shots, which have indeed caused autoimmune issues in some people. If you suspect that could be the cause, there are ways to detox. In any case, autoimmune disease are quite common these days, unfortunately. Toning up the vagus nerve can also help.
Jody,
Learning to listen to my body, to trust my body has been a long process for me. It’s now so wonderful to be able to do that! This ability is only really coming into maturity in my mid-70s. It’s a skill that was not taught in my military family and American society/culture when I was growing up in the 1950s and ‘60s. I doubt if it yet is broadly taught in the US.
Jody, you have reminded me of my own languishing book—a memoir of my cross-global marriage and experience of infertility and recovery of self. How old do I have to become before this project rises to the top of my projects list? As a highly creative person, I constantly get distracted by new projects. Well, maybe my body is telling me that, at least for the time being, the 10 years of writing I did in my 40s did its job of helping me process my grief over infertility, divorce and loss of adopted country and culture.
I’m back in country for a 6 week visit, first since the start of the pandemic, with my ex in-laws and old friends, eating Indian cuisine, and speaking Hindi 24/7. It’s a joyous, but also in some ways difficult, time. To be barren is a huge way to experience social isolation, but so, too, is marrying to the other side of the globe.
Hazel
"my ego isn’t fully on board with that. It’s still invested in being relevant"
Jody, please rest assured that you will always and forever be relevant to those of us you have helped.
Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.
Oh Jody, I am so very sorry for your prolonged illness.
Many years ago, I was ill for months and months. I couldn’t function. I was depleted, depressed and thought I might die.
As time went on, (and it took a long time, over a year), my body & soul did finally heal.
To this day, I do not know really what was wrong, but it did change me and made me much more aware of what was important in my life. It was truly a metamorphosis.
I hope that you are able to feel well again very soon. Sending positive energy and healing your way dear Jody.
Dear Jody,
You are touching the ancient. The clarity, the ache, the knowing. There’s a kind of soul-weather you describe here—bone-soaked and unrelenting—and I recognize it. The cannibalistic culture that eats itself. Mic drop.
Perhaps it’s the Irish in us that knows: some deaths don’t happen in the ground. They happen in the ego, in the expectations, in the slow undoing.
“Preparing to be forgotten”—that phrase is piercing. I feel it as a mother whose identity has been so tied to tending, witnessing, holding. And I feel an ongoing dying.
Our stories continue...
It’s no small thing, what you’re doing. This shedding of “Red Jacket Jody.” This stepping away from the role that once gave shape, even comfort. As you know, my path has been shaped by care work too—mothering daughters, one with profound needs—and also writing, healing, and resisting. The hunger to be seen and the grace of going unseen are always dancing. The mothering that continues until it doesn't.
Your words remind me that relevance isn’t always noise. It's the quiet walk by the sea, the fierce choosing of doing less, speaking softer, answering only to what calls from the soul.
May your rest be a revolt.
May your forgetting be a form of remembering.
And may your ancestors sit close—because I know they are.
With deep kinship,
Prajna
Dearest Jody, you are a beacon to me and so many women - all these wonderful comments that have come before mine show that in abundance. I have always been in awe of your commitment and compassion to our community and in a hundred years when they write the names of childless women who changed the world for childless women your name will be at the top. Surrender to the knowing - and follow your creative heart. The world needs your novel and you (and I) need your health. Adore you xxx
“Bottling the wind” what a gorgeous idea.
Sorry to hear you’re not well. It sounds like it’s been a perfect storm. Sounds like a rebirth of sorts is coming…
Dear Jody-
May you have a complete healing of body and spirit. xoxo
Thank you so much Danna, I really appreciate your care xxx
Dear Jody, evocative writing, as always. I'm sorry for the many personal losses you've experienced these recent years and for the health issues and worries. I hope answers come soon for healing. You give so much of yourself..do retreat/restore however you need now, protect your health and precious time. Sending much love, Susan xx
Thank so much Susan - it was so lovely to spend some time (in zoomland!) with you recently. I was touched then and now by your support and understanding. Hugs, Jody x
I see you, Jody. I’ve been very limited in what I can do for the past 15 months due to Long Covid. These fatigue based conditions aren’t easy. Gravitate to your joy and rest as much as possible, things will improve. Sending lots of healing vibes ❤️
'Gravitate to your joy and rest as much as possible'... I think I may have to have that tatooed on my hand to remind me, it's such good advice! Thank you x
Thank you so much for this Jody. I resonate on so many levels with your story. Periods of illness for me, whether appearing to be body or mind (or both!), that have forced a full stop, have revealed truths to me that either I couldn’t hear or didn’t want to listen to. Just when I feel I have learned it all, another lesson comes along! Bit tiring tbh but I often wonder what the next revelation will be! Take care xxx
I think the linear, masculine, left-brain, modernised part of my psyche still expects things to go in a straight line, no matter how many times I travel around the spiral of transformations through illness, grief and endings! I tend to think, 'Oh, that's over, I've integrated that lesson, now I can move forward (and upwards) again.' And yet, there's ALWAYS more! More decent, more integration, more humility, more honesty, more openings, more letting go... The story of our culture is always upward, towards growth, and with a clear start, middle, and end. My body knows that this is only part of the story... and keeps reminding me!
I had to read this twice - it felt so close to what I've been thinking about and going through. I'm so sorry about the health issues. I'm struggling with something, too, and been asking for a message - what does it mean? I have some inklings at this point, but your piece very much feels like a message to me from the universe. I have to let something die. And I think I know what. Thank you for sharing this. Sending you healing energy. xoxo
I'm so glad the universe used my words to help speak to something in you too. I think I knew/know what has to die, but my ego didn't want to know it... Sending you what you need to tease out your own truth and then, to act on it. Not easy, at all. I'm going to be wrestling with this angel for a while in my own life, I suspect... the ego puts up a heck of a fight!
Well i feel you could bring some ans take some with the group and benefit from the elders within the group, and hell the youngers too! you may want to at least check it out.And I believe CC will still offer a free month to try it.
Yes, in ways you don't exactly fit the profile; however in ways you do. my opinion anyways. cheers
Tai Chi practice has been shown to reduce inflammatory biomarkers, such as C-reactive protein (CRP), and influence the production of pro-inflammatory cytokines like IL-6 and TNF-α.
By lowering these markers, Tai Chi can help manage inflammation, a key symptom of many autoimmune conditions.
Tai Chi may also promote the release of anti-inflammatory cytokines, like IL-10 and TGF-β, contributing to immune homeostasis.
I can't help but encourage all of us aging to these particular tai chi movements designed by a Dr. in Australia under Tai Chi for Arthritis and Fall Prevention, there's even a Tai Chi movement to help guard against diabetes. Helps my thinking I have noticed..."some". Some is good enough these days, darn it.
https://youtu.be/mCQdy3sQk30?si=Ny7EqH9q-woAhgaD
Her warm up can't be beat many of us feel. My pain Dr. said "you mean that old lady with a gray hair!" On my next visit he apologized, how his words haunted him later, and now keeps saying he's going to do. I reminded him that her advanced work is like something out of a Quentin Tarantino movie!
Here's my own instructor and remember slowing down to learn the movements and slow, no very slow and controlled is what helps our muscles: plus, I kid him carefully that I do tai chi w him at home and when I'm blue, I absolutely love that he goofs and laughs! It makes me smile every time!
https://youtu.be/VhfC_l0vews?feature=shared
I can relate to your concerns regarding mobility. After all, movement is such a crucial part of being human. I've struggled with joint issues, and as I approach my mid-fifties, I am currently plagued by pain and especially more so when I try to sleep. They say that our health is dictated by our legs, well, not to coin a pun, but I won't have far to go if that's the case.
Both my mother and my mother-in-law had mobility issues, and having struggled with ankle/foot pain myself these last 6 months (on top of back pain for many years), I've had to cut down my walking and exercise due to pain. However, now I've shifted to strapping everything up and do what I can to keep walking and moving when my energy levels allow it. I too had really deep pain in my hip whilst (not) sleeping, which finally shifted when I added testosterone to my hormone supplements... You might want to take a look at the work of Ann Marie McQueen @hotflashinc - she is a science and health reporter who focuses on menopause, based out of UAE. She'll also be guesting on this Saturday's Fireside Wisdom session https://jodyday.substack.com/p/life-after-menopause Hugs, Jody x
We keep going my "kiddo woman!" I love that. My vibes say you pushed you body too hard emotionally and with the demands of everything together in the last year especially.
🙏 my vibes are correct, bit by bit each day, you'll feel little better though some days worse. Reality knocks at our doors, yeah?
That said, we rest a whole lot more and "forgive yourself, forgive yourself and then forgive yourself again," when you must do less. Oh how I hate it. Not in the type A's dna!
Fighting my diverticulitis flare up, though that said, I keep going. Water exercise and tai chi help. Whatever does each of us, we must do, ha ha ha, but in check. Damn it. "We must do, not overdo!" Says the number one rule breaker to that.
Thank you dear Joanne. Keeping going is my default behaviour, but my body says, not any more! Sorry to hear that you are dealing with a diverticulitis flare up - very debilitating. I guess learning to listen to our bodies (finally!) is one of the big lessons of elderhood. Hugs, Jody x