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Hazel A. Lutz's avatar

I'm guessing that any woman who has struggled with infertility or past the age of 50 has become aware of the ways that women are discounted in contemporary society. Iam reading a book that I think should be read by every woman who wants to know how our bodies have been discounted by centuries of patriarchy. The title: Vagina Obscura. It traces the disrespect as far back as Aristotle in the European and Eurocentric worlds, and shows that as late at the mid-20th century when medical books for people learning to be doctors did not include the cliterus (it's huge but mostly inside the body) in drawings of the female body. How could those doctors avoid damaging the cliterus while doing episeotomies during baby deliveries or during surgery for cancer in the pelvic area? This book traces the women, and some men, who changed all that through their research (instead of unfounded theory) into female sexual and reproductive organs. It's very readable, very inspiring. I think it's a must read for any one who thinks women are important and who thinks that women's bodies are not holding them back. It turns most of what we learned about the male and female roles in sex and reproduction on its head.

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Jody Day's avatar

Thanks for the book recommendation Hazel - sounds fascinating and important x

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Michael Golden's avatar

Holla, Jody! And this article about Mary Tyler Moore is in the very same spirit - especially her iconic role as Mary Richards in the 70s on the MTM Show. A fascinating life! 💪 https://shorturl.at/hDXCq

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Jody Day's avatar

Thanks Micheal - I'm just a tiny bit too young (and too English) to really appreciate just how radical MTM Show was; the article really helped, thank you!

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Michael Golden's avatar

Jody, here's a link with the first and then second theme song-openings to the show. If you listen close, you can hear how they changed the words after the first season. The character was already getting stronger and the original lyrics were already obsolete and seemed condescending. The show evolved all along. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s8qWXqm2bI

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Cathy Martucci's avatar

Hi Jody thank you for celebrating these wonderful, rich and varied women who are much needed in the world. xxx

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Cathy Martucci's avatar

Yes me too xxx

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Jody Day's avatar

Thank you for being one of my 'wonderful, rich and varied' non-mother role models Cathy! Looking forward to seeing you soon when I get home to Ireland in a few weeks! xx

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Georgeanna Tryban's avatar

Thank you for this wonderful celebration of all those who are forgotten, feel they are not celebrated, or feel they don't belong just because they aren't in the Mom-group. I love the way you use Not Mother to describe these women and from now on I'm not going to use child-LESS or child-FREE but NonMom to describe them. ❤️

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Jody Day's avatar

I agree that non-mother or non-parent is much less intrusive than childless/free - which is a binary that fails to capture so many women's experiences anyway! I created the term 'nomo' in 2012 (not-mother) which is use around the world, and my colleague Karen Malone Wright created her organisation 'the NotMom' around the same time https://thenotmom.com

We are so much more than our reproductive identity (Dr Aurelie Athan's term) but as long as we keep getting reduced to it as women, then we need to fight to make sure that ALL reproductive identities get space, not only motherhood. (Ad motherhood of course needs more than just lip-service support!)

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Nessa Meshkaty, MD's avatar

Thank you for the reminder that we are not really an eldermen and elderwomen deficient world. 🫶🏻✨

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Jody Day's avatar

You might enjoy the next outing of the NomoCrones later this month!

https://gateway-women.com/collapse

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Nessa Meshkaty, MD's avatar

Thank you! It looks like a lovely gathering of wise ones. Ive been searching high and low for elders around me as I am doing “elder research” in the field- coming up mostly dry. Perhaps I need to adjust/readjust my definitions.

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Jody Day's avatar

I began this project 4 years ago with exactly the same realisation - there are very few publically visible elders in our communities and cultures... so how do we apprentice ourselves? This will be the 18th webinar in the series and I hope it's changing that paucity!

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Nessa Meshkaty, MD's avatar

I am grateful. I signed up. Thank you.

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Maria Pinto's avatar

This is beautiful Jody, and as a Childfree Elder Cat Woman I celebrate with all of my sisters around the world. May you all feel joy, peace, and the flame that burns inside all our hearts.

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Jody Day's avatar

Sending love back atcha from a cat and dog lady and apprentice crone xx

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Jody Day's avatar

Thanks for the resharing love! Happy IWD xx

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Marta Montoro's avatar

Thank you for truly seeing all of us, Jody; your work has become such an important anchor in my life over the past year. “Seeing” you enjoy the company of elephants & capybaras during your trip has brought small moments of joy to otherwise very dark days.

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Jody Day's avatar

Ah my dear Marta, I'm so glad that I can be an anchor for you, and so very glad that thanks to Katy Seppi, we got to meet last April! Big hugs lovely xxx

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Marta Montoro's avatar

I will always be thankful that the stars (and the lovely Katy!) aligned to make the Summit happen just 2 months after I first read your book. And I am excited to join the Elders once I cross the threshold to 50 in just two months - big hugs right back! 💕

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Rozi Bali's avatar

Thank you for posting this. For some reason I really needed to seen and celebrated today.

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Jody Day's avatar

I see you and celebrate you today Rozi xx

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Victoria's avatar

Big hugs to my BIG Sis Jody - thank you for all you do to ensure we all feel seen and heard. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and lighting the path to make it less dark for us. You continue to inspire and embolden me, to walk tall, my way. ❤️

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Jody Day's avatar

You are so welcome dear Victoria. YOUR work, YOUR passion and YOUR insights into caregiving bring so much wisdom, compassion, insight, data and oomph to my inbox too! Right back atcha! Hugs for IWD x

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Ali Hall's avatar

So much love for this. Our minds are in a similar place. The March writing prompt for Life Without Children this month is about how IWD often defaults to another Mother's Day.

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Jody Day's avatar

I look forward to reading those prompts too! I still haven't got to grips with Medium (and as I'm travelling every day/other day the chance of doing so is simply not going to happen till I'm back home in April!) - or I would have submitted it to you! Hugs, Jody x

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Ali Hall's avatar

Fear not my lovely, Medium is a bit of a shit show at the moment. Give me a shout when you are back and I will fire over a bit of a help guide to you for all things Medium. Enjoy your travels. :-)

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Jody Day's avatar

Will do!

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Bella DePaulo's avatar

Thank you!

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Jody Day's avatar

You are so welcome! I champion your work whenever I can! Happy IWD you remarkable woman you! Hugs, Jody x

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Bella DePaulo's avatar

You are awesome! Thanks again.

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Chloe Alexander's avatar

Receiving your celebration loud and clear! Thankyou xx

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Jody Day's avatar

And a hug too Chloe! x

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koandco's avatar

That is such a powerful post. Thank you.

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Jody Day's avatar

Thank you for your appreciation - it really helps me to keep writing! Hugs, Jody x

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koandco's avatar

I've just posted it on my FB wall.

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Simone Senisin's avatar

Happy IWD 💜💚🤍

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Jody Day's avatar

Happy IWD to you too Simone! x

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Simone Senisin's avatar

💪🥰🙌

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marcia singer's avatar

May every female person be knowing their inherent beauty, value, love-abilities. Thank you for a lovely recognition of us all, especially those of us marginalized, and otherwise uncelebrated, noticed.

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Jody Day's avatar

Visibility matters... and even more so when so many marginalized groups are facing further stigmas! Sending hugs x

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