I decided to give up alcohol for 2024, or swap it for better sleep and more energy. I’ve done dry spells and dry January before but I wondered how a year would go. I kept track through January and now I don’t even notice. I loved my Friday night glass of wine (that gradually became Thursday, or Wednesday night, or every night) but I do not miss it. And I do sleep better and have more energy, so I eat better and so more yoga. The whole positive circle now feels like something I won’t step back from.
This really resonated with me. I had got to the point where I "needed" a drink when I finished work.....every evening. Often I wouldn't have another but some nights I would. Lots of social drinking too. Alcohol was a big part of my life. So I chose to do dry January and then I decided to keep going. This is my 8th year of no alcohol.
Alcohol is such a massive, intertwined part of the social culture of this country. I have definitely lost friends because I am "boring". But I don't mind cos they were pretty boring when they were smashed 😉
Definitely appreciate never losing another Sunday to a hangover. Good luck with your year x
Awesome read and thank you for sharing. For health reasons, I've also been avoiding alcohol. What has really galvanized me even more towards saying NO, was when I experienced grown adults still peer pressuring me to drink. Unbelievable. I used to drink all the time, thinking I had to do that to fit in, but realized those people never had my back anyways. My health has improved so much. I have more energy, I've lost weight, even look younger. I'm never going back to the bottle.
I’ve been (mostly)dry since July, after a loooong back and forth with myself about my relationship with alcohol. Ultimately morning pages (one of those morning habits you mentioned, lol) and a friend I texted asking for directions to a guillotine soI could escape the negativity in my head convinced me to quit.
I initially thought I could take a break from it, then develop a healthier relationship with it. However, a coworker gifted me a bottle of Cabernet for Christmas, and I decided to see how it felt after 5 months of sobriety. Well, I drank the entire bottle in one night, and wasn’t face down on the floor. Tipsy but fine. I wanted more. I didn’t like the feeling of a bottomless craving that showed up. I realized before going to bed that I would never be able to enjoy one glass of wine. Once I have one, I want ALL the glasses of wine. If I don’t have any, that craving doesn’t show up. And neither do the super dark negative thoughts. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s a hell of a lot better than when I drink regularly. So I like myself better too. A LOT better. I don’t plan on picking up the habit again. Now I just need to learn how to give myself permission to relax without it. That’s my biggest challenge.
Once I started to really sit with 'what is me vs. what is socialized me', I realized that drinking was a big 'socialized me' trait. I hated being tipsy and the feeling of out-of-control inebriation brought. But yet I kept partaking because "that's just what you did." Once I made that promise with myself to no longer drink (I'll take sips of my husband's fancy specialty cocktails from time to time but nothing beyond that) I realized that all of the other promises I'd been breaking with the self were a lot easier to keep. I didn't have the shame spiral weighing me down post-drinking any longer and it was so liberating. Thank you for writing this and putting words to some feelings I hadn't yet articulated. This was great!
I looks like we're on a similar learning curve. I too have experimented over the years with dry seasons because drinking interferes with my sleep, patience and moods, and like you, the red wine doesn't sit as nicely as it used to! I also like myself100% better when I'm not drinking. I do sugar binge at the start, but then I kind of level out. I typically go dry from January 1 to April 1, but I am considering never going back. I always regret it.
It's was so refreshing to read your journey to becoming a non-drinker. I've disliked drinking all my life and went through a spate of drinking for about a decade when I lived with an ex-partner, and even then, it all seemed as if I was living the lie. As someone that suffers from a sleep problem, has a mobility issue, and would like to keep her memory; giving up drinking has done wonders for my health and I also reduced my sugar in take recently, and it's really helped my mobility. I also reside in a country that looks down on drinking, even though it's becoming widely obtainable in most Muslim countries. Well done, Jody. I wish you all the best with your safe and healthy journey to making the choices that are good for you.
Ah the synchronicity of Substack strikes again! Thank you for sharing this. It's a lovely exploration and one that resonated with me too. I just wrote my own piece about alcohol and stopped drinking 3 weeks ago. I love that you're curious instead of anxious - I feel like that was finally the key for me too - sobriety being an investigation instead of a punishment. I feel lucky to be here with you.
Good work, Jody, and well done on the liking yourself enough! A long while back, I dropped weekday drinking but continue(d) to enjoy sharing wine with my spouse on the weekends. This year, we're dialing back on that as well, by one less day. Maybe I should let it go completely. I've got a bit too much of my mom's "everything in moderation" in me to be ready to let go completely. I admire the presence of mind required to set a goal and stick to it, and we all deserve to feel like our best selves, whatever method we use to get there. Totally laughing with you (and the commenter above) on the self-help, morning ritual overload. And for me, it's not just mornings. I come across SO MANY IDEAS for how to up my personal game, and I think back with something just shy of disdain on the years I spent reading nothing but self improvement books. You know what? F- it! I'm no slouch. I'm doing a lot of stuff pretty well. I'm still wildly imperfect, but I don't need to keep adding to my list. Letting go is another way to get where we need to go. Brava, you!
This is great. I developed a glass-of-wine-a-day habit during the Covid years (roughly 2020 to early 2022 by my reckoning.) It was never excessive but it did cross that line from a thing I wanted in my mind to a thing I needed. This summer I decided to go without and replace with other routines. And I discovered that I not only was I able to lose the habit but also lose the desire. I haven’t totally given up on wine but it is back to being an occasional thing.
Beautiful, powerful, courageous places of reflection and practice, Jody. Also quite resonant with my own experience in choosing not to drink. My last sip was in February 2020, and I remain immensely grateful for that choice.
Really great essay. I wrote about why I quit drinking over two years ago (and how it improved my ability to cope with a health diagnosis) in my newsletter a few weeks ago. I was never a “problem drinker” either, but I was definitely drinking more early on in the pandemic to try to deal with stress. I resonated with everything you said here!
I decided to give up alcohol for 2024, or swap it for better sleep and more energy. I’ve done dry spells and dry January before but I wondered how a year would go. I kept track through January and now I don’t even notice. I loved my Friday night glass of wine (that gradually became Thursday, or Wednesday night, or every night) but I do not miss it. And I do sleep better and have more energy, so I eat better and so more yoga. The whole positive circle now feels like something I won’t step back from.
This really resonated with me. I had got to the point where I "needed" a drink when I finished work.....every evening. Often I wouldn't have another but some nights I would. Lots of social drinking too. Alcohol was a big part of my life. So I chose to do dry January and then I decided to keep going. This is my 8th year of no alcohol.
Alcohol is such a massive, intertwined part of the social culture of this country. I have definitely lost friends because I am "boring". But I don't mind cos they were pretty boring when they were smashed 😉
Definitely appreciate never losing another Sunday to a hangover. Good luck with your year x
Me too x
Thank you Jody - I like knowing what I did yesterday!
https://cherrycoombe.com/2024/02/10/not-an-addict/
Awesome read and thank you for sharing. For health reasons, I've also been avoiding alcohol. What has really galvanized me even more towards saying NO, was when I experienced grown adults still peer pressuring me to drink. Unbelievable. I used to drink all the time, thinking I had to do that to fit in, but realized those people never had my back anyways. My health has improved so much. I have more energy, I've lost weight, even look younger. I'm never going back to the bottle.
I’ve been (mostly)dry since July, after a loooong back and forth with myself about my relationship with alcohol. Ultimately morning pages (one of those morning habits you mentioned, lol) and a friend I texted asking for directions to a guillotine soI could escape the negativity in my head convinced me to quit.
I initially thought I could take a break from it, then develop a healthier relationship with it. However, a coworker gifted me a bottle of Cabernet for Christmas, and I decided to see how it felt after 5 months of sobriety. Well, I drank the entire bottle in one night, and wasn’t face down on the floor. Tipsy but fine. I wanted more. I didn’t like the feeling of a bottomless craving that showed up. I realized before going to bed that I would never be able to enjoy one glass of wine. Once I have one, I want ALL the glasses of wine. If I don’t have any, that craving doesn’t show up. And neither do the super dark negative thoughts. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s a hell of a lot better than when I drink regularly. So I like myself better too. A LOT better. I don’t plan on picking up the habit again. Now I just need to learn how to give myself permission to relax without it. That’s my biggest challenge.
Once I started to really sit with 'what is me vs. what is socialized me', I realized that drinking was a big 'socialized me' trait. I hated being tipsy and the feeling of out-of-control inebriation brought. But yet I kept partaking because "that's just what you did." Once I made that promise with myself to no longer drink (I'll take sips of my husband's fancy specialty cocktails from time to time but nothing beyond that) I realized that all of the other promises I'd been breaking with the self were a lot easier to keep. I didn't have the shame spiral weighing me down post-drinking any longer and it was so liberating. Thank you for writing this and putting words to some feelings I hadn't yet articulated. This was great!
I looks like we're on a similar learning curve. I too have experimented over the years with dry seasons because drinking interferes with my sleep, patience and moods, and like you, the red wine doesn't sit as nicely as it used to! I also like myself100% better when I'm not drinking. I do sugar binge at the start, but then I kind of level out. I typically go dry from January 1 to April 1, but I am considering never going back. I always regret it.
What an excellent piece Jody. PS I must say I had a good belly laugh about the morning self-improvement practices!!!! xx
It's was so refreshing to read your journey to becoming a non-drinker. I've disliked drinking all my life and went through a spate of drinking for about a decade when I lived with an ex-partner, and even then, it all seemed as if I was living the lie. As someone that suffers from a sleep problem, has a mobility issue, and would like to keep her memory; giving up drinking has done wonders for my health and I also reduced my sugar in take recently, and it's really helped my mobility. I also reside in a country that looks down on drinking, even though it's becoming widely obtainable in most Muslim countries. Well done, Jody. I wish you all the best with your safe and healthy journey to making the choices that are good for you.
Ah the synchronicity of Substack strikes again! Thank you for sharing this. It's a lovely exploration and one that resonated with me too. I just wrote my own piece about alcohol and stopped drinking 3 weeks ago. I love that you're curious instead of anxious - I feel like that was finally the key for me too - sobriety being an investigation instead of a punishment. I feel lucky to be here with you.
Good work, Jody, and well done on the liking yourself enough! A long while back, I dropped weekday drinking but continue(d) to enjoy sharing wine with my spouse on the weekends. This year, we're dialing back on that as well, by one less day. Maybe I should let it go completely. I've got a bit too much of my mom's "everything in moderation" in me to be ready to let go completely. I admire the presence of mind required to set a goal and stick to it, and we all deserve to feel like our best selves, whatever method we use to get there. Totally laughing with you (and the commenter above) on the self-help, morning ritual overload. And for me, it's not just mornings. I come across SO MANY IDEAS for how to up my personal game, and I think back with something just shy of disdain on the years I spent reading nothing but self improvement books. You know what? F- it! I'm no slouch. I'm doing a lot of stuff pretty well. I'm still wildly imperfect, but I don't need to keep adding to my list. Letting go is another way to get where we need to go. Brava, you!
This is great. I developed a glass-of-wine-a-day habit during the Covid years (roughly 2020 to early 2022 by my reckoning.) It was never excessive but it did cross that line from a thing I wanted in my mind to a thing I needed. This summer I decided to go without and replace with other routines. And I discovered that I not only was I able to lose the habit but also lose the desire. I haven’t totally given up on wine but it is back to being an occasional thing.
"How long are these people's mornings?" I howled! 🤣 I felt so understood reading this. Thank you! Signed, Childless GenX CatLady
Beautiful, powerful, courageous places of reflection and practice, Jody. Also quite resonant with my own experience in choosing not to drink. My last sip was in February 2020, and I remain immensely grateful for that choice.
Really great essay. I wrote about why I quit drinking over two years ago (and how it improved my ability to cope with a health diagnosis) in my newsletter a few weeks ago. I was never a “problem drinker” either, but I was definitely drinking more early on in the pandemic to try to deal with stress. I resonated with everything you said here!