I absolutely loved this conversation. Such wisdom. Such nourishment. So many actionable takeaways. Thank you all for generously sharing your insights 🙏
Appreciated this “webinar” and look forward to finding more on Substack. I stumbled on this and although it’s very late it all resonated with me. In CA you are considered an elder at 65.
If I make it to “No Kings Day” for the next protest I will be 5 years beyond that. Thank you to all and your conversation and insights were appreciated! After caring for an elder woman friend and her dog I experienced the health care arena and the court systems with mostly made up of men who thought 2 elder women can easily be taken advantage of for their profits. Elder Justice
Is my mantra and sadly there is very little out there. I went so far as to join the ABA (American Bar Association) and spoke directly to the source. Found no resources to help elders and elder women seek justice from corrupt lawyers. The CA Bar is the regulatory body of the attorneys who must license with them. At this time it is critical to have your personal group of friends who have your back. Jody your ideas around this are so important and valued. Thank you! I look forward to reading more from you.
What a beautiful conversation, thank you all for your words and warm hearts. I was touched and inspired by so much in the conversation. Personally, I really appreciated Jody, you talking about "reclaiming your mothering heart" and the experience of feeling as if (or receiving the projection of) you didn't know what to do with children. I feel that kind of knot sometimes, and wonder what it is that is there in those moments creating that sense of friction in myself. I love knowing there is another side through that!
Nearing my 8th decade, I recognize a Sister Soul, emerging, unraveling, re-emerging as a new tapestry of oneSelf, yet Unchanged at the core. My life is a continual initiatory process, losing and seeking Vision of a world I can safely and sanely inhabit, and contribute to. Your writing is beautiful, Jody, giving voice to your Being, your eldering, your joining the ranks of what I call the Shift-Shapers. Marcia Singer, Love Arts Foundation
Thank you so much, Sister Crones, for sharing your warmth and fireside wisdom. It's been a wonderful listen! The concept of eldering resonates deeply with me, especially as family estrangement has left me outside the nuclear family, despite having children and grandchildren. Building relationships with young people also brings out my eldering nature in unexpected ways.
My own journey with eldering began a decade ago, in my early fifties, and has been a deeply rewarding experience. I even wrote a book about it: 'Croneology'. There’s something beautiful about the archetypal younger and elder within meeting, learning and growing together. Suzan’s story of the burnt land speaking to her struck a deep chord with me.
These are just a few of the thoughts I managed to scribble down whilst listening. Thanks everyone. Love, hope and blessings to you all.
Thank you so much for listening and commenting Deborah! There are so many ways that we can find ourselves aging without children, and estrangement is one of the least discussed - and yet so much more common than many realise. Like involuntary childlessness, there's a taboo around it... Thank you for your willingness to name it.
I love your Substack so shall seek out your book!
And yes, Suzan presence and wisdom is practically luminous, even on screen...
Thank you again for appreciating this conversation.
Jody, your kind and wise reply means so much! Thank you. You're absolutely right, family estrangement is often wrapped in silence, and yet it touches so many lives. Naming it feels like a small but necessary step toward breaking that taboo and finding connection in our shared experiences. It was one of the main reasons I wrote my story "Still Standing, Still Loving," because as an ageing woman, I felt so alone.
Oh, I’m delighted you enjoy my Substack and are curious about "Croneology". Perhaps have a read of my book launch post and see if it's 'your cup of tea,' so to speak (hopefully this link will work): https://theliberatedsheep.com/croneology-poetic-reflections-on-the-crone/ Also, on my dedicated 'Books' page, I received my first review last week which may help you decide whether or not to order a copy.
And yes, Suzan truly radiates wisdom and presence, doesn’t she? Even across a screen, her light, and that of all of you, was unmistakable. Thank you again for being part of this conversation and bringing such heartfelt insight to it. Sending hugs your way too! x
Thank you both Deborah and Jody for your kind reflections. The fire had me weeping every day for 4 weeks .Such a deep and powerful expression of the mountain's grief and my own has had a purging effect where I feel stripped of some past holding. The mountain spirit is flowing strongly in connecting me to the local human community encouraging ( giving courage) to advocacy for the protection of this remnant of biological diversity within a monocultural sea of wheat fields and sheep. With regard to family estrangement, I too have been struggling with this over the past 3 years. It intermittently brings me to a place of self destructive rage. I'm just about to initiate some counselling with a local psychologist to help me work with my triggers around the situation. There is a strong theme of my mother demonstrating her value of my sister and her 3 children over my own value. I'm not sure my mother can be any different so I have to learn how to find some peace within this discomfit.
The prontalist norm of giving value to 'mothers' amongst daughters whilst ignoring/devaluing/belittling those without children is extremely common within families. It is internalized pronatalism and is very hard to challenge within the family system. It can be overt/covert, and impacts finances/wills/inheritances/traditions as well as relational issues.
This is a huge topic, and one I think, as emerging elders, that we need to talk and write about more...
yes, its not a new experience for me but it continues to impact me in all the many and varied ways which you have noted and is getting to a point of untenable saturation where I have to address it, yet again....hopefully more effectively this time
Suzan, re family estrangement, I can feel the weight of the pain you're carrying, and it's courageous of you to seek support, taking that step shows immense strength. I hope you're able to find moments of peace and deep healing as you navigate this challenging situation with hope, resilience and self-compassion. Re the fire, I wrote a little story on my first post that you may enjoy titled "Wisdom Burns Brightly in the Wildfires of Life": https://theliberatedsheep.substack.com/p/a-poets-journey
I absolutely loved this conversation. Such wisdom. Such nourishment. So many actionable takeaways. Thank you all for generously sharing your insights 🙏
Appreciated this “webinar” and look forward to finding more on Substack. I stumbled on this and although it’s very late it all resonated with me. In CA you are considered an elder at 65.
If I make it to “No Kings Day” for the next protest I will be 5 years beyond that. Thank you to all and your conversation and insights were appreciated! After caring for an elder woman friend and her dog I experienced the health care arena and the court systems with mostly made up of men who thought 2 elder women can easily be taken advantage of for their profits. Elder Justice
Is my mantra and sadly there is very little out there. I went so far as to join the ABA (American Bar Association) and spoke directly to the source. Found no resources to help elders and elder women seek justice from corrupt lawyers. The CA Bar is the regulatory body of the attorneys who must license with them. At this time it is critical to have your personal group of friends who have your back. Jody your ideas around this are so important and valued. Thank you! I look forward to reading more from you.
What a beautiful conversation, thank you all for your words and warm hearts. I was touched and inspired by so much in the conversation. Personally, I really appreciated Jody, you talking about "reclaiming your mothering heart" and the experience of feeling as if (or receiving the projection of) you didn't know what to do with children. I feel that kind of knot sometimes, and wonder what it is that is there in those moments creating that sense of friction in myself. I love knowing there is another side through that!
Nearing my 8th decade, I recognize a Sister Soul, emerging, unraveling, re-emerging as a new tapestry of oneSelf, yet Unchanged at the core. My life is a continual initiatory process, losing and seeking Vision of a world I can safely and sanely inhabit, and contribute to. Your writing is beautiful, Jody, giving voice to your Being, your eldering, your joining the ranks of what I call the Shift-Shapers. Marcia Singer, Love Arts Foundation
Thank you so much, Sister Crones, for sharing your warmth and fireside wisdom. It's been a wonderful listen! The concept of eldering resonates deeply with me, especially as family estrangement has left me outside the nuclear family, despite having children and grandchildren. Building relationships with young people also brings out my eldering nature in unexpected ways.
My own journey with eldering began a decade ago, in my early fifties, and has been a deeply rewarding experience. I even wrote a book about it: 'Croneology'. There’s something beautiful about the archetypal younger and elder within meeting, learning and growing together. Suzan’s story of the burnt land speaking to her struck a deep chord with me.
These are just a few of the thoughts I managed to scribble down whilst listening. Thanks everyone. Love, hope and blessings to you all.
Thank you so much for listening and commenting Deborah! There are so many ways that we can find ourselves aging without children, and estrangement is one of the least discussed - and yet so much more common than many realise. Like involuntary childlessness, there's a taboo around it... Thank you for your willingness to name it.
I love your Substack so shall seek out your book!
And yes, Suzan presence and wisdom is practically luminous, even on screen...
Thank you again for appreciating this conversation.
Hugs, Jody x
Jody, your kind and wise reply means so much! Thank you. You're absolutely right, family estrangement is often wrapped in silence, and yet it touches so many lives. Naming it feels like a small but necessary step toward breaking that taboo and finding connection in our shared experiences. It was one of the main reasons I wrote my story "Still Standing, Still Loving," because as an ageing woman, I felt so alone.
Oh, I’m delighted you enjoy my Substack and are curious about "Croneology". Perhaps have a read of my book launch post and see if it's 'your cup of tea,' so to speak (hopefully this link will work): https://theliberatedsheep.com/croneology-poetic-reflections-on-the-crone/ Also, on my dedicated 'Books' page, I received my first review last week which may help you decide whether or not to order a copy.
And yes, Suzan truly radiates wisdom and presence, doesn’t she? Even across a screen, her light, and that of all of you, was unmistakable. Thank you again for being part of this conversation and bringing such heartfelt insight to it. Sending hugs your way too! x
Thank you both Deborah and Jody for your kind reflections. The fire had me weeping every day for 4 weeks .Such a deep and powerful expression of the mountain's grief and my own has had a purging effect where I feel stripped of some past holding. The mountain spirit is flowing strongly in connecting me to the local human community encouraging ( giving courage) to advocacy for the protection of this remnant of biological diversity within a monocultural sea of wheat fields and sheep. With regard to family estrangement, I too have been struggling with this over the past 3 years. It intermittently brings me to a place of self destructive rage. I'm just about to initiate some counselling with a local psychologist to help me work with my triggers around the situation. There is a strong theme of my mother demonstrating her value of my sister and her 3 children over my own value. I'm not sure my mother can be any different so I have to learn how to find some peace within this discomfit.
The prontalist norm of giving value to 'mothers' amongst daughters whilst ignoring/devaluing/belittling those without children is extremely common within families. It is internalized pronatalism and is very hard to challenge within the family system. It can be overt/covert, and impacts finances/wills/inheritances/traditions as well as relational issues.
This is a huge topic, and one I think, as emerging elders, that we need to talk and write about more...
yes, its not a new experience for me but it continues to impact me in all the many and varied ways which you have noted and is getting to a point of untenable saturation where I have to address it, yet again....hopefully more effectively this time
Suzan, re family estrangement, I can feel the weight of the pain you're carrying, and it's courageous of you to seek support, taking that step shows immense strength. I hope you're able to find moments of peace and deep healing as you navigate this challenging situation with hope, resilience and self-compassion. Re the fire, I wrote a little story on my first post that you may enjoy titled "Wisdom Burns Brightly in the Wildfires of Life": https://theliberatedsheep.substack.com/p/a-poets-journey